snakebitesyou

Hayley Williams from Paramore is friggin awesome. So is Cassadee Pope from Hey Monday (Plus we share the same first half of our name xD ). The Veronicas!

I think I lost my confidence when i turned into a teenager. And up to today, I haven't exactly found it yet. I may have tried to revive it and I know God did an amazing job when I do need it desperately but on the regular basis, day to day, my confidence doesn't hang around much.

It's sad that I get affected at times that I am still single because no guy wants me in some sense. As in, I do think about it. I don't desperately want any guy or a boyfriend. Neither do I have anyone in mind as of now. I don't think I even like the sweet guy that I loved since June 2008. Well, at least that is what I feel right now. Which is a good thing. Because, then I am free. Free of emotional nonsense and what not. Hmm, typing this out actually makes me feel better. So bear with these unhappy thoughts on my blog. Because it actually DOES make me feel better. Maybe because my beautiful friends just broke up with their bfs that makes me sad too. and maybe it's gonna be the time of the month again but whatever right. haha. anyway, at least it's off my chest now.
and my friends wanna go clubbing. yes, i am of age and with rather great self-control. but can you imagine a ugly fat chick clubbing. i can't. haha, so you see my point?

once again, though not said before in this journal that i hate my voice sometimes and i really suck at singing. like, honestly, it's my dream since i was a young girl to be a singer and dancer like my idols Christina Aguilera and Beyonce and Hilary Duff but i haven't have enough esteem in myself to pursue it. like competitions and stuff. i sometimes believe that because at times my parents keep telling me i can't sing good enough like those on tv and all that, that i think i'm a horrible amatuerish wannabe that will not get anywhere in the business. so i really take their comments seriously as they are my parents and thus, i really think i'm so-so. like not good. at all. at least according to their and my pre-conceived standards. anyway, if you're not my lovely church or sc friends and you've heard me sing before, please feel free to criticise or comment or whatever. because i love to hear your view and i love very much to improve. and if you are those lovely people who have heard me before. comment too luh haha. i just wanna get better. and i don't know, i definitely heard friends who say i can sing. but, what good is it when i feel i can't and also i am not daring. i have limited song range and vocal range and all that stuff and if you wanna hear me sing just ask me anytime. i will definitely refuse you but just be persistent HAHA. anyways, i am having a sore throat and cough now. :( which makes me sadder. and if any of you lovely friends wanna sing together anytime, call me. i love to sing and it's almost my life but i still think i'm no good. well, idk. lets just have a good time then.

And i wanna sing rock songs. can i? :/

i had sc production meeting today. i love sc like crazy now. haha. thanks to the chalet and the awesome people. seriously, sometimes i think only they understand how i feel about certain things.

plus, my cousin, Isabel from Malaysia is here. though a lot of church things have been put off because of PO but i know it will be worth it when she comes on Sat. haha. i can't wait to go shopping with her. doing so in a few hours time and damn am i tired!

okay, i really miss a hell lot of people once again. like the deutschies that i havent met for centuries and my best friend. lol. plus others luh. but i lazy. hahaha.

damn, Ignorance by Paramore is such an epic song. if you have any idiot on your back, sing it to him/her. it feels bloody good. like hayley williams understands me! LOL. and damn you haters. though i am suppose to love them though they hate me because i am a Christian, but i am human, i have flesh and i got feelings too. so it's gotta be expressed healthily. through a song for instance.

So it's Nice to meet you Sir! I guess I'll go, I'd best be on my way out.
 

 POP TARTS ARE AWESOME :D

!@#$%^&* :( stoofus.

oh, i also got chosen by soundcard to audition for nyp musical. i'm shy and scared. and i can't act HAHA. oh wells, i'll give my best and see how it goes. whoot.

and i miss church. dang studies from not allowing me to go. blehblehbleh :(


i got double eyelids in this photo! YAY! :D

it's tiring waiting for the time
the time that you'll be done
with what you need to do
nevertheless i'll still wait for you
my reward won't be much
it's quite little in fact
just to spend some time with you
these few months are dry
these few months i cry
cuz i don't see you

it's not like we'll be together in the end
i highly doubt we will
it will be nice for that day to come
perhaps the day when you are done
done with not what you need to finish doing
but done with who you're seeing

every day i think of you
i don't wonder if you think of me
because you're answer will be no
i feel like such a loser
and i feel so insecure
but when i'm with you
i'm comfortable
i am no longer what i am
at least with how i look like on the outside

i know i fell for your outer looks first
but then when i knew you
i fell harder
i don't think about how we would look like
i think about how our souls match
that we can be one

but you don't think about that
because you already found your match
it's hard to move on
it's so true
when i can't find anyone better than you